IKATLONG KWENTO : THE BABY IN THE BAG
December 10, 2005, Saturday. I'm going to find it hard to forget that date.
Dec 10 : two days after Fiesta ng Antipolo, Nuestra Senora dela Paz y Buen Viaje.
Right after hospital duty.
It kind of felt good to go to church to pray right after duty, since katabi lang halos ng Soriano-Leyble Maternity and Medical Hospital ang simbahan ng Antipolo. We were praying and one of the Sang'gre heard a baby cry. The helpless voice came from behind us. Paglabas namin ng simbahan, sabi niya sa amin "Narinig niyo rin ba 'yun? May batang umiiyak." and she told us she thinks that the cry came from inside the bag (gumagalaw yung bag) of a young woman who was sitting behind us. When she felt that someone had noticed the "crying bag", the lady took off.
We searched all around the church compound but we never saw the lady, the bag nor the baby.
Ang dami kong mga tanong:
Magagawa ba iyon ng isang tao, isang babae, isang ina sa walang kamuang-muang na sanggol?
Kung sino man siya (one of us saw her dress but not her face naka pang-sexy daw na haltered floral top...and dangling earrings), bakit niya ginawa yun?Anong balak niya sa bata?
Anong balak ng Diyos sa babaeng yun?
Ano kaya iniisip niya nung magpunta siya ng simbahan? Humihingi ng dispensa sa Diyos?
Ano kaya iniisip nung bata habang nasa loob siya ng chic white leather bag na yun? (I do believe that babies can think, too)
How long does it take for a baby to suffocate in a bag? Did it hurt?
Who could the lady be?
What great (or terrible, or mediocre or sweet or kind) things the baby could have done if s/he was given the chance to live?
Did her/his mother try to abort her/him?
Will anyone find that bag too late or not? How will it feel to be the one to find that baby in the bag?
Ang dami kong mga "sana":
Sana hindi na lang niya nilagay sa bag yung bata. Hindi ba niya alam na mamamatay yun?
Sana iniwan na lang niya sa simbahan, sa ospital, sa kalye...anywhere na mahahanap namin siya na umiiyak man, humihinga naman.
Kahit hindi na namin sana nakita yung babae, sana nakita namin yung bata at naidala namin sa authorities.
Sana nasabi namin sa pulis (but then again sino ang isusumbong namin? hindi namin madescribe ng husto yung babae kasi ang bilis niyang nawala)
Sana isahang insidente lang ito. Pero alam kong di mabilang ang ganitong insidente. Just use your imagination to interconnect these : reckless youth, unwanted pregnancies, runaway dads, failing finances, post-partum dysfunctions, broken hearts, parental pressure, rising statistics etc. Swerte kami at inalagaan kami ng maayos ng mga magulang namin...which leads to my last "sana"
Sana may nagawa kami.
I know it was not in our hands. But i may just say that we did the best we could. The incident broke my heart. All I could do was pray.
I don't know what my reaction to this had I not been a midwife.
My next kwento will be about midwifery proper, its triumphs and perils, heartaches and joys. Midwives never enjoy these alone, there is always your coworkers, your superiors and most importantly, your patient with all the fears and hopes of an expectant mother.
I have been quite the loner for most of my life. I thought solitude was my only comfort. But being here in this profession made me reach out and realize, I am not alone, I need people and people need me.
posted by Delle @ 11:23 PM
2 Comments:
hi i'm tereray of Taytay. married and 33 yrs. old. i red some of your blog. From Unciano ka pala. Wala lang, nadadaanan ko kc i2 everytime na namamalengke at nagggrocery ako.
I just like to ask an advice fom you though di tayo magkakilala. he he he
Anyway, June 29, 2007 nag enrolled me sa Montessori Professional College @ antipolo. 2 days after nag back out ako. Kc nawalan me gana kc naman accdng na rin sa Anatomy/Foundation of Nursing's Teacher na newly Grad lang na puyat na puyat as in wala pang tulog na tinuturuan kami ay...Sana daw ig gus2 namin mag nursing dapat dun na lang sa school na kilala na pagdating sa course na Nursing. Marami pa cya sinabi that really makes me feel disappointed. One More thing is first time ko iniwanan sa ka2long(1st time namin nag house helper] ang 2 kids ko. When im in school, cla yung lagi kong iniisip. Dami ko rin tao na nadisapppoint. Specially, hubby ko na siya ang gumas2s para sa tuition ko. Cash pa naman. 50% lang marerefund ko. Ngaun, iniisip ko na gus2 kong mag aral ulit kaya lang gus2 kjo yung fit sa sched ng mga anak ko, gus2 ko while nasa school cla nsa school din ako. 7:30am to 10:30am ang time nila. Gus2 ko 11am sa haws na ako, para i dont need househelper that makes me super worried when they left home.Wala me parent nor kamag anak to solve my problem. Im a high school graduate only. I just like to pursue something in college,parang may gus2 lang me prove sa sarili ko. Di naman kami ganun ka hirap para sabihin ko na gus2 ko makatapos para umasenso. Di ganun eh. One time i tried gumawa ng resume kaya lang pagdating sa educational background, seminars attended. Blanko na eh! Alam mo yun, yung bang parang ang tanga tanga ko. Pagiging Mommy lang for 6 yrs. ang kaya kong ishare.Thing like that is really makes me feel so small, illitirate,stupid etc..
Today is July 4 i think i won't be able to enroll now. Too late and still in process of naguguluhan of what to do..
What do you think? MAy mahahanap kaya ako schoiol na malapit lang satin, na fit sa gus2 kong schedule?
Hi Tereray,
Thanks for reading my blog. And I appreciate that you're asking a little girl like me for advice. It only shows that you are open minded. And as I'm reading your comment, I see that you are a refined lady who is concerned about her family, yet is ready to expand her horizons. We need more strong and smart women like you in this country.
Sabay kami ng tita ko nag-aral sa Unciano. She's several years older than you and has been a housewife with three elementary school kids for at least 12 years before studying again. Although she finished college and has worked before, it has been too long for her to remember everything. Pero she graduated with good grades and she has taken the Nursing Board Exams. We're currently waiting for the results and we have high hopes.
I won't say that it has been easy for her. Several months siyang walang katulong because limited ang budget nila. So she had to balance her home life with her school life. She had to make a lot of sacrifice, compromise, heartbreak, sleepless nights and a lot of pride swallowing (we both got our tuition from my tito in Sydney). She set her priorities straight because she is thinking that this is the way to give her children a better life. She had to rent a place in Manila for a few weeks prior to the exams so she can take review courses. She had to leave her kids with some in laws and only get home every weekend. And she tried to learn all she can so she can pass the Board and be a competent nurse.
As with your professor na fresh grad: hindi na siya dapat nagturo kung hindi niya irerepresent ang school niya ng maige. A prof's job is to raise the level of education kahit sa gano kapangit na school. If s/he can't stand their institution, s/he should find another school to teach in. Or better yet, find another job. Besides, it's not all in the school you're from. All that matters is that you study hard enough to pass the Board (even though that would mean self-study)
Here are some tips I can give you madame:
1. See if your kids can be left on their own. My tita's kids were 11, 9 and 4 when she started schooling again. So they can do certain chores na. If you still can't leave your kids on their own kasi they're still too young, find someone trustworthy to watch over them. If you simply can't stop worrying about them, then you have to realign your priorities. Perhaps you can put off Nursing school until they're a little bit older. Just see to it that there is true communication between you and your kids, as well as someone else more mature to report to you daily.
2. Nursing school schedule is erratic. Especially if there's hospital duty. I once had a 48 hour shift. Graveyard, early morning and afternoon shifts are not uncommon. There's no definite time that you will be home.
3. You can enrol in the second semester. I did. And you can enrol at the last minute. It means that you will be an irregular student. Irregs have more flexible schedules (and can sometimes choose their prof heheh). But chasing profs and getting support groups can be a challenge since you only join that section in one or two of their classes. But then again, you can also expand your networking this way.
4. And speaking of support groups, you have to have one or two buddies. My tita had a small group of mommies her age in school and they helped each other through Unciano. At home, your greatest support should be your hubby. I guess he is quite supportive since he paid for your studies. Talk with him on what you really want and where you wish to go with your education and your career. Plan together on how you can study and work (housework) at the same time.
5. Research before you enrol. Although I said that success still depends on the perseverance of a person, it will give you confidence that you came from a good school. What is their passing rate? Anyone topping the exams from that school? Do they have good facilities? Are they affiliated with hospitals? Do they get enough practical knowledge by being rotated in public hospitals? Are they CHED accredited? Base your decisions on statistics and from people who have finished school in such schools, not just hearsay. You can check out www.ched.gov.ph and www.prc.gov.ph. Consider also the distance from your home.
6. Be ready with your papers. Get your transcript from your former school.
7. Don't put so much effort into minor subjects. English was fun for me but the stage plays were taking too much time. I thought Unciano was crap because my Physics prof sucks. But when I got into Healthcare 101 and Anatomy, I realized that I had to save my brain cells for the tougher and more necessary stuff. I had to rethink my idea of fun (watching CSI to brush up on my Anatomy, chatting with my preggy patients, playing guitar for the disabled, storytelling about hygeine for the urban poor kids, etc)
8. Choose your school, your prof and your friends really well.
9. The key is BALANCE. Involve your hubby in budgeting your time and money between your family and your career. He'll appreciate that and he will also find a pocket of time when he can help you and the kids. Create an hourly (yes, i do mean by the hour) schedule and stick to it.
Mothers are always caught in the middle of their own fulfilment and that of their family. If it all sounds very daunting to you, well it is tough. You have to be very very sure of making it through before you decide to enrol. If your lifelong dream is to be a nurse, then I believe that you should pursue the course. It is a noble profession that your family will be proud of. You can commit to it now or you can also choose to wait.
And for my final tip:
10. You may also check other options like Caregiving and Nursing Aide Courses. You can also research on other courses and seminars that best fit your time, skills, interests (Design, Entrepreneurship, Languages, Healthcare, Computers, etc) You can opt for short course. You may also just enrol a few units per sem (although that would take a long time and a lot of miscellaneous fees for you to graduate) You may also want to check off-campus learning like the U.P. Open University. Join groups with the same interests as yours. Keep in mind that learning is continuous even if we're 100 years old.
Life is not determined or limited by a diploma (or lack of therewith heheh). Business tycoons like Henry Sy did not finish their education. But if you feel that it would greatly improve your life and your self-esteem, by all means go for it! But college degree or none, try to find and complete whatever task God assigned you. Even if its just home-based jobs like tutoring, online english lessons or even going into business. You would give your children confidence to see their mom a mover in the world. They will also benefit from the things you will learn, on and off campus.
I am proud that there are such moms like you. Best of luck!
And by the way, my Tita only has limited knowledge of computers. She doesn't even have an email ad. Magaling ka pa mag computer sa kanya. Sorry for the long reply. Hehehe...
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